When you create an estate plan, you make careful decisions regarding your investment accounts, your real estate holdings, the businesses you own, and your other major assets. But it is also important to consider the smaller things in your household. Disagreements among family members can occur over items of lesser dollar value—items that hold memories and sentimental significance.
Items like Dad’s tools, Grandma’s desk, and Mom’s wedding ring all have a value beyond their cash worth. Some may carry special meaning for specific family members. Just as you select special gifts for each person on your Christmas list, you can choose special items for specific individuals to receive when you can no longer use them.
Begin with a household inventory: jewelry, tools, appliances, furniture, collections, artwork, and memorabilia are typically included. Consider taking photographs of room settings and more expensive or unique possessions with details important to an item’s value.
Once you’ve inventoried these household items, you can write a Letter of Instructions (we like to call it a love letter to your family) and place it with your important legal papers. In this letter, you can direct your personal representative or trustee to distribute specific, identified items to specific individuals. The letter, as well as specific cherished or valuable items, can be referenced in your Will or Trust to validate its existence and confirm that it expresses your desires.
In your Letter of Instructions, you can begin by sharing your faith story, the importance faith has played in your life, and your desire for your family to grow in their personal faith journeys. Next, you can include a list of specific items that are held without a title or beneficiary designation. Share what they are and why they are important to you and to your family. Indicate who is to receive each specific item, perhaps including the reason you have selected special items for specific individuals. Finally, share your love for your family. Remind them, “I love you all more than any of these ‘things’—they mean little if you do not love one another. Share them and enjoy them, but enjoy one another more!”
Be sure to check with your legal counsel to determine any specific directions in state law regarding the format or signatures that may be required for your Letter of Instructions. And even if your state does not recognize your letter as legally binding, in taking time to create an inventory and write out your instructions, you bless your family by making your desires known.
