The writer Mark Twain is reported to have said,
“I am not troubled by the things in the Bible which I do not understand, but I am troubled by those things which I do understand and which I find very difficult to measure up to.”
You might resonate with Twain’s perspective. One area of Scripture’s teaching that can feel uncomfortable is the topic of handling confrontation. How should we go about practicing accountability between Christians? Two incidents from the life of Jesus will shed light on how we can use challenging words.
Our first example is from Luke 11. Throughout Jesus’s ministry, religious leaders called Pharisees watched His every move to discover opportunities to critique His actions. Even when they invited Him to a meal, as they did in this story, they did not do so as friends. Meal invitations from the Pharisees were opportunities for them to find fault with Jesus. If He did not adopt their interpretation of the Law of Moses, they would pounce on His actions and build a case against Him.
Luke, the author, states that Jesus did not wash Himself before the meal. This kind of washing wasn’t for hygiene purposes but was a ceremonial display of piety before other dinner guests. When confronted about this, Jesus responded to His accusers:
“Now then, you Pharisees clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside you are full of greed and wickedness. You foolish people! Did not the one who made the outside make the inside also? But now as for what is inside you—be generous to the poor, and everything will be clean for you” (Luke 11:39–41 NIV).
It would be a stretch to call Jesus’s words polite; telling people they are greedy, wicked, and foolish isn’t cordial. But we see that Jesus’s harshest words were always directed at the religious leaders.
James 3:1 tells us that leaders in the faith are held to a higher standard—
“Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly” (NIV).
The Pharisees were spiritual authorities among the people and claimed to faithfully follow the Lord through the outward display of religious activity, but their hearts were self-serving. Jesus calls them out and reminds them that the way they treat “the least of these” is far more important than displays of religious zeal.
Our second example is taken from John 8. Here the Pharisees created another test for Jesus. Cruelly, it involved a woman caught in the act of adultery. Parenthetically, the teachers of the law were unable (or unwilling) to bring the other participant of adultery before Jesus.
Trying to trap Him, the Pharisees reminded Jesus that the law demanded death by stoning for adulterers. In response, Jesus invited the blameless in the crowd to take the initiative to throw the first stone. The Pharisees realized they were caught—as they could not claim to be sinless—and walked away. Once they had all left, Jesus spoke to the woman and gently stated,
“Neither do I condemn you . . . go now and leave your life of sin” (John 8:11).
This too is accountability, but notice the difference in tone. Jesus’s care for the woman is evident. He seemingly lived out the adage to “comfort the afflicted but afflict the comfortable.”
These examples in Scripture provide us with some guidance, but in each situation of confrontation and accountability between Christians, we must seek God’s wisdom and heart of love for the people whom we are calling to account. Our words can provide necessary correction, but we must take care as we wield them that we ourselves are walking in step with the Holy Spirit. Jesus cautions us in Matthew 12:36,
“I tell you that for every careless word that people speak, they will give an account of it on the day of judgment” (NASB).
Ultimately, we must turn to the Lord in prayer and ask for His guidance when practicing Christian accountability. We read in Proverbs 2:3–5,
“Indeed, if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God.”
